Friday, February 11, 2011

A Hell For Others

Redlight.

Beyond... Slender Man - it hurts to type that out, and I feel cold every time - I think he's the person I fear most. Because beyond something I can't understand, he'd be the most likely to beat me into the ground. To torture me because my weaknesses are so obvious, because I'm too small and too weak and never, ever strong enough in any way to do anything at all.

I'm a wimp.

I scare easily, I huddle in a corner and then I turn selfish - I'd sacrifice people to save my own skin. I want all of you - every last person and your problems and your hope and desperation - to just disappear so this is all a dream or a game and so I don't need to care anymore. It'd be so much easier...

There. The truth. I want to help - but at the same time, such a large part of me whispers that if you all just disappeared, if I stopped caring, things would be better. Rationally, I know they wouldn't, but... it never stops. Robert forgot - but he came back. Maybe because he's selfless. Maybe because we needed him so badly. If that happened to me - if I took the deal - I'd just die in a corner, huddled up and paralysed with fear. It wouldn't take long.

Is that an easy way out? I don't know.

I'm too scared to take it. What if it hurts?

What's going on right now... I want to help. But talking might draw more attention to me. I can't stand what Redlight's doing - but my one yell at him might be enough. What if I become more of a target? I can't bear that.

How do you guys keep hope alive? I feel like I'm going to die just out of terror.

8 comments:

  1. Stormy, please. We keep hope alive through each other. Because at the end of the day we know there are at least 10 other complete strangers cheering you on, who want you around and who love you for who you are.

    Is giving up the easy way out? Not by trusting Redlight. Look at how many of the others he completely failed with. If you have to quit, do it on your own.

    If you really wanna give this up, just leave. Don't go on the blogs, don't check on us, try not to think of SlenderHERP. It worked for Darby before he decided to jump right back on in with the rest of us.

    I don't think you're a wimp. I think you're just scared, which is a perfectly normal reaction. No one is perfect, Stormy. You aren't some goddess, we don't always expect you to be perfect and have all the answers. Just remember that there are people here who want to help you.

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  2. Redlight's just a coward who acts tough to mask the fact that he's afraid.

    Don't pay him any mind. :] I just find him to be a silly little fellow, poor little thing.

    He could take everything away as much as he wants, but he's yet to realize how pain can create a greater bond that can never be broken. It's all in the memory. And he tried destroying that memory, but he failed didn't he?

    Just ignore him.

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  3. Stormy,

    We're here for you. We always will be. No matter what happens, even if you give up or whatever. Red is a douche. He's not worth our attention. We love you Stormy. We're family. If you need anything, e-mail me.

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  4. Just remember what we talked about earlier, Stormy, and you will do fine. I promise.

    -Lucien

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  5. Redlight is a slave. For what its worth, we are free.

    and Heroes are men who KNOW they are free.

    we have choices in life. I've made some shitty choices but some of my choices have been worth it in the long run.


    Fuck Im so tired but please, stormy. Even now there is hope for man.

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  6. Just like everyone else said, we're here for you. And Redlight's way is not the easy way, it's the way that might work for a little bit, maybe, but in the end you just get dragged back in. Plus, Redlight's a douche and you can't trust him as far as you can throw him. Don't worry about him. Beside's I bet Ava's gonna grind him into dust soon anyways. :)

    Best Wishes
    -Summer

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  7. Thank you, guys.

    It's funny. We are all one insanely messed up family - just because I've only talked to you guys through blogs doesn't make it any less real.

    When I start shaking, I try to think of what's just happened, the victory we have - and how you guys are always there to support me. I've avoided so much pain that all of you have gone through already, and yet... you still try to make me feel better.

    Thank you.

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  8. Redlight. He's like Jack Spicer. Except never funny. And never an ally. Always a pain. Always a sore loser.

    He's a scary, scary man. I totally understand. But also know that he's at least part human. And you can inflict damage should he ever try to stalk you. Though Summer's right. I think Ava'll do that for us. :P

    If it makes you feel better, I mocked him too and am equally scared he'll come after me.

    It'll be alright, love. We're here.

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